I was one of three children. I
always felt like I was the most intelligent of my brothers. Although we had
some fun playing sports and rolling around in mud when we were kids, I was
ready to be off on my own.
“Boys, it’s
time for you all to go off on your own and get your own place” said my mom.
I giggled
at this. My brothers would make it a month on their own, since they are nowhere
close to being as intelligent as me. They were so dependent on my mother. The
crime in this neighborhood was intense, and they were in for a rude awakening.
Especially Phineas, he was a real moron.
In this
rural town there were only a few places to shop, and we all needed materials to
build our new houses.
“My house
is going to be great, I can see it now,” said Presley.
Phineas,
the family idiot, agreed with him and I just shook my head in doubt. There was
no way my younger brothers would build a house better than me. I have always
been the golden child. I followed the rules, worked on the farm, and did
anything around the house that I could.
“What are
you laughing at, Percy,” Presley said to me.
“Oh, just
your stupidity!”
“Oh, you
still think you’re the best man on the farm, huh? Well I’ll prove you wrong”
“Yeah, me
too!” Phineas agreed.
“Alright,
I’ll tell you what. If you guys can build houses more sturdy than mine, I will
buy your roast beef for two months,”
“Deal!” my
brothers said simultaneously.
I don’t
think my brothers know what they are getting themselves into. I have won
everything since we were little. I remember when we were just six years old; I
won the national tuna sandwich-eating contest.
An hour
passed before we all met at the checkout line of the county store. My youngest
brother had idiotically picked out straw and Presley bought some sticks. Even
after they saw that I had bought the bricks, they still thought they had a
chance.
It was a
hot day in June when I looked out my window. My brother’s house was being blown
apart by a dark figure that I could not make out. I’m sure he’s fine, he will
just go over to Presley’s house.
It could
have only been a few hours later when the same situation was happening at
Presley’s house too. Maybe I was next. Oh well, I’ll just enjoy my drink until
then.
In the
middle of my daily nap I was woken abruptly by banging on my door.
Of course!
It was my idiot brothers.
“Let us in,
let us in!” They both screamed with terror in their voice.
I ran to
the door and let them in. I guess I was feeling nice after my nap.
They
explained to me how some intruder went to both of their houses and destroyed
them. So naturally, they hauled ass to my house. Complete stupidity and
irresponsibility on their part.
There was a
knock at my door.
“Let me
in!” the voice yelled.
“Not by the
hair on my chinny chin chin!”
My brothers
were freaking out.
“It’s him! The terrifying wolf!”
I assured them that my house was
way better then theirs and that there was no way he could blow it down. Please,
that is just ridiculous.
After taking a few huffs and puffs,
the damn wolf went up on my roof. He thought he was getting in through the
chimney. Yeah right, Mr. Wolf!
My brothers were curled up in balls
in the corners of the living room as I prepared a fire. The wolf was not
getting in my house.
It was only
seconds before the wolf let out a shriek. Hah, the fire had burned him. I
looked out the window only to see the big bully scurrying away. No way he was
coming back here. My brothers were amazed.
“That was
awesome, Percy!” Phineas said.
I already
knew what I did was heroic, like I needed assurance from two stupid pigs.
“Let’s go
boys,” I said, “We have two more brick houses to build".
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